Do you know who I am?!?

Yes I’ve been guilty of saying this whilst being made to queue to get into a club at 1 in the morning! But please dig deep down within your heart to forgive me as I was poking fun at the way people in Dubai really feel they are someone. To make yourself feel better, the bouncer asked the obvious question, "no, who are you?" to which I clumsily retorted "I was 4th place runner up in Popidol" Needless to say we didn’t get into the club and neither was I 4th place runner up...perhaps next time I will try using the excessive flesh display methodology of gaining access.

You can kinda get away with saying it because some people really do have delusions of grandeur. They've moved to Dubai and can afford a materialistically better quality of life; cars are cheaper (this depends where you came from), gas is incredibly cheap thus affording you the luxury of driving around in gas guzzling 4x4's or sports cars which you couldn't otherwise afford back home. Rent used to be cheap but getting more expensive and you get more for your money eg; you may be fortunate enough to live in a building which has a pool and gym. It’s also quite easy to get bank loans or car loans to really keep those lavish indulgences within arms reach.

Thanks to the popularity of slave labor in the region, you can quite easily afford to get a maid to clean your apartment, thus buying you extra time to pamper yourself. I personally choose not to have someone clean my place because I am someone of incredibly high moral standards! Actually its because I’m a tad anally retentive and always end up cleaning before and after them, so it proved a pointless exercise.

Due to poor quality media, lack of free speech and generally lack of anything interesting to write about, it’s also quite easy to get your photograph in newspapers and glossy/gossip magazines. All you need to do to achieve this is attend an exclusive party or the opening of an envelope - guaranteed the "paparazzi" (chokes on her coffee) will be there. So when people see their photos..."oh look I’m famous", buys 20 copies and sends them all back home.

Are you getting the picture? No? Ok, let me get my paintbrush out again. Recently I had the pleasure of attending the Destiny's Child concert held in Dubai (don't say anything - they're cool ok & they invented the word "bootylicious" if nothing else!). Now normally, the seating arrangements would state "general standing' for the people who cram right at the front and "grandstand seating" people who would rather sit down a little further back but usually end up standing by the end. In Dubai however, the seating arrangement are labeled as follows;

VIP = grandstand seating
VVIP = those sweaty mad people who'd rather cram at the front.

So you’re standing in line to get into concert venue and you either stand in VIP or VVIP queue. Those sweaty people with VVIP sashay in with a definite air of smugness about them thinking "yeah, they all know who I am, I’m a VVIP"!

Lord have mercy!