Thoughts on the London Underground

“I will let you off as we are on the tube, and there is barely room to breathe, but any other time, I will slap you in the face for groping my arse”

“How can someone smell so bad this time of the morning?!”

“I must remember not to stand next to someone tall next time I am on a packed tube. They are breathing on my face with bad breath! worried his bogies might be spraying on my face”!

“Ok, who just farted?”

“I am sure that book is incredibly enticing, but at the moment I don't even have room to scratch my arse, so please put that book away"

"lady, i don't think you looked in the mirror before leaving the house this morning"

"why do men ALWAYs wear the same friggin shoes - thank god i was born a woman"

"damn, can't reach for ipod to lower volume - god i hope no one can hear this song!!"