Hey Miss Westpat Brat

... now i am talking to you miss chavved up Jumeirah Jane in the faux Burberry and LV! Please do not stand in the supermarket queue on the phone to your fellow JJ, talking about the latest book from Oprah's Book Club for your next book club meeting whilst your items are being checked through. And Mr check out man, you are not a robot, so please pay attention to the fact that i cannot pack my items, as JJ is standing there on the phone and hasn't packed her items as yet.

And when i intimate that you need to move your sorry arse along, do not retort with that annoying gesture famed by Indian taxi drivers, else i will be forced to take the phone off you and inform your JJ friend that your handbag does not match your sandals!

Miss JJ proceeds to stand there nattering on the phone whilst waving for someone to come and pack her items for her. With only 3 bags of groceries, she then waves him on to carry the bags to her car. No doubt she will then flip him a 1 dirham coin - more as a means of asserting her power rather than thanking him for his kind help. If i was him, i would throw that coin back to her and demand an encore performance as it's worth its weight in dirhams!