One lane fits all
Do you remember that pocket bible called the Highway Code book? Well, when you reach Dubai, you can toss it in the back seat along with any road maps you may have of Dubai! All you need is; use of accelerator, breaks, excessive use of horn, aggression and any offensive sign language aside from the one finger salute. It's also advisable to learn colourful words in Hindi so you can expressively express them in times of idiocy - which you will find is most times.
If you mouth at the offenders in popular French words, you will only receive puzzled looks - not the desired effect. However, if you learn something in Hindi, which emphasizes the close relationship they have with their mother or sisters, you will note a definite difference in reaction, far more satisfying reaction might I add.
Have you ever been stuck at the back of a traffic jam and in you rear view you can see a huge lorry hurtling and swaying towards you out of control desperately trying to slow down? You’re sat there absolutely helpless screaming to yourself "oh fug"! Hmm, I have found myself in this sticky pit situation once…fortunately at the last minute the retard swerved onto the hard shoulder. Its never a dull day on the roads of Dubai.
There is a rather skillful maneuver, which I think is known as the 4-lane swerve. This move can only be successfully performed on Sheikh Zayed road for the following reasons; more traffic therefore endangering more lives, it’s the only highway where you can gather excessive speeds, there are plenty of exits to aim for, oh and it has four lanes.
The methodology is as follows; driver must be driving at breakneck speed in the fast lane and at the last minute realise they need to get off at the exit they are about to pass. They swiftly swerve all four lanes in one foul swoop - dodging all traffic, and make the exit within inches of hitting the barrier.
Keep an eye out for jaywalkers - well it’s hard to miss them, as they are the people who see you coming and step out on the road anyway. There is also a myth, where sorry individuals step out on the road with the intention of getting hit in the hope of receiving "blood money" compensation from the driver, if they pass away in the process, it goes to their family.
Lane discipline is absolutely non-existent! The two slower lanes on the highway may be vacant, as drivers prefer to be seen in the faster lane. This causes drivers to undertake quite regularly. Roundabouts are another popular spot for a bit of lane indiscipline! Offenders driving on inside lane, madly and inconsiderately swerve out to make their exit with no indication whatsoever! I’ve had too many close calls trying to avoid this!
Don't ever expect drivers to give way and if you decide to give way, be prepared for the following squillion cars to try and get in as well whilst they are on their mobiles calling their aunts and uncles to get them in too!
In some instances (particularly where queuing is involved) they are firm believers in one-lane fits all!
Yawn!
If you mouth at the offenders in popular French words, you will only receive puzzled looks - not the desired effect. However, if you learn something in Hindi, which emphasizes the close relationship they have with their mother or sisters, you will note a definite difference in reaction, far more satisfying reaction might I add.
Have you ever been stuck at the back of a traffic jam and in you rear view you can see a huge lorry hurtling and swaying towards you out of control desperately trying to slow down? You’re sat there absolutely helpless screaming to yourself "oh fug"! Hmm, I have found myself in this sticky pit situation once…fortunately at the last minute the retard swerved onto the hard shoulder. Its never a dull day on the roads of Dubai.
There is a rather skillful maneuver, which I think is known as the 4-lane swerve. This move can only be successfully performed on Sheikh Zayed road for the following reasons; more traffic therefore endangering more lives, it’s the only highway where you can gather excessive speeds, there are plenty of exits to aim for, oh and it has four lanes.
The methodology is as follows; driver must be driving at breakneck speed in the fast lane and at the last minute realise they need to get off at the exit they are about to pass. They swiftly swerve all four lanes in one foul swoop - dodging all traffic, and make the exit within inches of hitting the barrier.
Keep an eye out for jaywalkers - well it’s hard to miss them, as they are the people who see you coming and step out on the road anyway. There is also a myth, where sorry individuals step out on the road with the intention of getting hit in the hope of receiving "blood money" compensation from the driver, if they pass away in the process, it goes to their family.
Lane discipline is absolutely non-existent! The two slower lanes on the highway may be vacant, as drivers prefer to be seen in the faster lane. This causes drivers to undertake quite regularly. Roundabouts are another popular spot for a bit of lane indiscipline! Offenders driving on inside lane, madly and inconsiderately swerve out to make their exit with no indication whatsoever! I’ve had too many close calls trying to avoid this!
Don't ever expect drivers to give way and if you decide to give way, be prepared for the following squillion cars to try and get in as well whilst they are on their mobiles calling their aunts and uncles to get them in too!
In some instances (particularly where queuing is involved) they are firm believers in one-lane fits all!
Yawn!
posted by ReginaFilangee at 9:53 AM
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