One thing that's got me trippin…

I was recently asked by someone, "What's the one thing you dislike about Dubai?" I was like...hmm, let me give you a URL address and take your pick. By that I was of course referring to VPL city.

Anyways, it did get me thinking, ok if you could single out one thing, what would it be? I'd have to say, the one thing that’s got me trippin are the delusions of grandeur, as that tends to be a factor rubbed into my face on a daily basis.

When I first arrived in Dubai, I was told, "if you can make it in Dubai, you can make it anywhere in the world". In retrospect, it’s clearly obvious that this person was, and certainly still is living in La La land, wrapped in cotton wool high up in their ivory tower. This statement couldn't be further from the truth, however there is an element of truth to it. The fact that their perception is, they can make it anywhere is very true, however in actuality, they don't stand a chance.

Just to expand on this a little; to get some things done here, it seems the higher the decibels in your voice and the more aggressive/ downright rude you sound, the more likely you will achieve results. The art of negotiation, rational and intelligently formed arguments, persuasion, ol’ fashioned charm just don’t seem to go down too well in this less sophisticated society. If it's making a lot of noise and the nostrils are flaring.. then we better pay more attention to it - quite primitive eh?

Moving on,I was in discussion with a publisher regarding a potential job and found myself pathetically negotiating a job title. I announced during the conversation that this was incredibly pathetic of me indeed. This made me realise how people here are so bemused by titles which aides to cloud their vision of reality and not too concerned about the job in hand. Someone I know has changed their job title 4 or 5 times in short space of time, and seems to honestly think they were promoted on each occasion.

You can’t blame them though, as there is a checklist of standard question people ask when they first meet you;

- Name?
- Where are you from?
- What do you do?
- How long have you been here?

Sub Continent Asians tend to add a few more onto this...

- Which car do you drive (I drive myself insane putting up with this shite, if you really must know!)
- Are you here with your family or husband (I am a single female Muslim, so to be here on my own is considered taboo. I mean come on, which century are we living in?!)

Locals will add on…

- Can i have your number?
- Are you married?


I’d really like to add my own questions..

- Is there a bogey up my nose?
- (Whilst standing there naked) do I look fat in this?

An extra dimension to the delusion is the name-dropping. People name-drop more than a hooker drops her pants as a means of demonstrating their pre-eminence. I have mentioned in a previous post, that there are no celebrities in Dubai but some unfortunate individuals actually believe they are celebrities. However, the names people tend to drop are either those who are in some way related to the Royal family, or the incredibly rich.

As an example, a new colleague at work came up to my desk and out of the wild yonder blue he started talking about how he is a drinking buddy with members of a renowned family out here. I was sat there in disbelief, which I tried to disguise as awe and admiration as I wanted to see how far he would take this conversation. I felt like asking, “Oh cool…tell me, and do they poo like we do or do they have some special method of poo extraction?” He just rattled on, but fortunately I was interrupted with a phone call.

Boring I tell you…